When I was growing up “at-home aesthetic devices” meant one thing: Slendertone, the machine that promised a toned tummy via electrical stimulation and was used by sporting paragons such as Muhammad Ali and Franz Beckenbauer. My mum was a model and so had a cupboard containing exciting items such as impossible stilettos, crocodile-skin clutches, a set of heated hair rollers and an original Slendertone.
On the days when I would get home from school to an empty flat, I would dig out the machine, which, with its beige Bakelite knobs and buttons, looked like something from the Thunderbirds set. I would strip down to my bra and pants, attach the rubber suckers to key places about my person (thighs, tummy) and secure them using the
