Here’s the scene, circa late 1980s.
A newbie is welcomed to the working world with a get-to-know-you lunch at a Chinese restaurant in Rochester I’ve long since forgotten.
I walked in full of fire for the riches and fame ahead, ready to change the world; I walked out with a stain on my tie, setting the course for a series of similar mishaps over the years.
A true gourmet remembers the exquisite pairing of a pricey Château Margaux with an earthy poulet grillé (and struggles to recapture that sublime moment when red wine and roasted chicken meet).
More gourmand than gourmet, I can name the shirt stains resulting from many meals and the approximate circumstances surrounding it. Green Boston Red Sox T-shirt. Wegmans French vanilla coffee with cream. Slumped on couch. Coffee on shirt (and probably on couch).
Some can navigate a spaghetti and meatballs dinner like a cardiac surgeon deftly performs a heart transplant. Me? If I have a bagel with peanut butter, said spread is in my beard, my moustache, shirt, and pants. Somehow, part of it ended up in my hair – and I only had one bite!
It’s no different away from home. The light-colored shirt I wore to a Canandaigua Chamber of Commerce lunch function a few years back at the old Inn on the Lake is as much a memory as the place at which I destroyed it with an errant cherry tomato slick with balsamic vinaigrette.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has developed – or failed to improve upon – bad eating habits while eating at home during the COVID-19 pandemic. And, with dining out a safe option once again (knocking on wood in my CDC-approval-pending attempt to defeat the delta variant), I will do something to save my shirts.
I’ll wear a bib or at least a napkin for protection.
This is something I haven’t seen often in restaurants, with the exception of some lobster and barbecue joints. Perhaps this is why. In googling “who wears bibs in restaurants,” a Chicago Tribune headline reads: “Wearing a bib to dinner is a hard habit to digest.” Miss Manners frowned on the use of the bib in this case and suggested spot remover instead or, “mastering the very simple requirements necessary to get food directly into the mouth.”
Ouch. But times change.
Today, I’m not sure if it’s just not cool to do this, no one is thinking to wear one, no one cares about their clothes, or most diners can eat a meal without needing a change of clothes and shower afterward.
This is going through my head as I sit down for soup at the centerpiece café at the Community Coop at Newberry, housed in the historic JJ Newberry five-and-dime building in Lyons, Wayne County. The café comes recommended by friend Lou Martino, who admits to having donned a bib out before.
“I like bibs for messy Italian meals,” Martino said.
Open for six years, the Community Coop at Newberry boasts 159 vendors on the main floor. Downstairs, a selection of antiques and collectibles, from plates to old record albums to photos and more, is tempting, especially a tin filled with metal Elvis Presley cards.
Even more tempting is the day’s creamy chicken and spinach soup, which I order, narrowly winning out over goulash. On the bowl’s arriving at our table underneath a huge clock, I look around, coast is clear, and I tuck in a napkin. Good call, as a wayward dumpling nearly escaped.
Lynette Hauf is the coordinator here, and she said go ahead, wear a bib – in fact, she pointed out, she sells adult bibs. She doesn’t think any differently of someone who would wear one, at home or at the café.
“No, because I do that,” Hauf laughed, “just because I don’t want to get it on my fancy clothes.”
Problem solved.
This means the family and I can get away on vacation as a way of seeing and experiencing new places and people, and not solely a ploy to get new T-shirts to replace the stained ones that can no longer be worn in public.
Maybe I can wear white again, before, during or after Labor Day.
Side looks be darned, if I have to wear a bib, I will. And I’ll have it inscribed: “I’m only wearing this bib because I can’t afford to buy anymore new shirts (and I’m not passing up dinner out).”
Eat, Drink and Be Murphy
The Eat, Drink and Be Murphy column explores the region’s bounty of food and drink — and the people who bring it to you — soup to nuts, accentuated with a craft beer or Finger Lakes wine. After all, who doesn’t love to eat and drink? Email assistant editor Mike Murphy at mmurphy@messengerpostmedia.com or call 585-337-4229 with ideas and suggestions.
