Carolina makes everyone see red in Madrid

A moment of silence, rose lovers, for the women who make it to week four on The Bachelor — when the international travel begins — only to be sent home at the first overseas rose ceremony. This week, Grant and his women headed to Madrid, where the Rose vs. Carolina continued and resulted in one self-elimination.

Let’s recap!

It’s the morning after the prom, and the women are feeling as deflated as the pink balloons still strung up in the backyard.

Before we go any further, rose lovers, I want to say one thing about last week’s drama. As you may recall, Rose told Carolina off-camera that Grant said something along the lines of, “When I was dancing on stage with Carolina during the group date, I was thinking about you.” The Bachelor, when confronted by Carolina about this, adamantly denied it. Since then, eagle-eyed members of Bachelor Nation have been posting “receipts,” like this clip. In it, Grant says to Rose during the group date, “Even today, right? The whole dancing thing on stage and everything — I was thinking about you.”

First of all, every single woman on that group date both sang and danced on stage — that was the whole point of the date! Also, the man said nothing about Carolina. I think Rose — who was probably still annoyed about Carolina making out with Grant on stage — just had that on her mind and heard what she wanted to hear. End of rant.

Oh look, here comes Jesse Palmer with the big news:

Once in Madrid, the women settle into the hotel and then head to an outdoor café for some sangria. Of course, you know this means that Grant’s going to show up out of nowhere and pull one of them away for the first one-on-one date of the week. Bachelor producers love nothing more than “disappointed women” reaction shots. And that’s exactly what happens. Grant invites Dina on the one-on-one, leaving the rest of the women feeling like this:

Dina and Grant have one of those “explore the city” dates: They start off by playing futbol with some local boys and then learn some traditional dances in a town square. All the while, Dina is filling us in, via voice over, on her history of emotional reserve. “I grew up thinking that you don’t show your emotions,” she explains. “I’m a little bit of an ice queen… but I can melt for the people that deserve it.” Oh boy, Grant — that sounds like a challenge to me.

The couple’s next stop is Peque Story, a cute little store whose façade is decorated with wishes written by thousands of visitors. Dina and Grant write their own and read them to each other.

As they float with the ducks, Dina and Grant talk about their personal attachment styles — she’s a giver, and he’s always done things on his own. He’s ready to give out that love, though, and maybe he’ll give it to Dina.

Time for the Dive Deep Dinner™! And Dina does not mince words when she talks about her personality. “I’m very regimented, very in control,” she explains, adding that she can be “drill sergeant-y.” But she says getting to know Grant has been “so chill,” and she appreciates that he can bring out her softer side. The Bachelor admits she reminds him of his mom — “not in a weird way,” he clarifies, but because she’s got the same kind of strength. Grant, who felt the need to be strong for his mother as a child, can relate to Dina’s experience of feeling the need to be self-sufficient because she was one of 11 kids.

When Dina asks Grant why his 7-year relationship ended, he says the “downfall” came from his selfishness: “I was trying to pursue my career, and I didn’t really cater to the things that she was asking for the way that I should have.” Props for honesty, sir! There’s be plenty of Opening Up™ on both sides tonight, and you know what that means, rose lovers:

Congrats, ma’am. Back at the hotel, the women are drinking wine and listening to Carolina complain about how she hasn’t had enough time with Grant. “It’s definitely weird to watch other people’s intimate moments,” she continues, “ooh — I don’t love that.”

Oh girl, read the room! No one wanted to watch your “intimate moment” with Grant on stage when you straddled him and started eating his face in front of everyone. Anyhow, Carolina is going to have a lot more to complain about this week, because she just found out that she’s on the group date — along with Alexe, Litia, Natalie, Rose, Parisa, Zoe, and Juliana. (Congrats on the one-on-one, Sarafiena!) Carolina handles the news the best way she knows how: Through defensive sarcasm.

Oh, they will. Don’t you worry, toots.

The day of the group date arrives, and Parisa is NOT having a good morning. She goes on to deliver what may be one of the best comedic monologues in Bachelor history. “I woke up and I had a pimple,” she tells us. “I burned my chest earlier on my hair curler. It’s so ugly — it popped! — so I’m trying to cover it with my necklace. My spray tan is, like, chipping. Chipping! I didn’t know, like, a spray tan could chip!”

Even in the face of this adversity, Parisa is determined to have a good time on the group date. Come on, reality TV gods — this woman needs a win!

Unfortunately, when the ladies meet Grant in the town of Chinchón, he informs them that they’ll be exploring the area via donkey — and Parisa’s ride really needs some Pepto Bismol.

“Parisa! Yours has way bad gas!” Litia informs her. Alexe, on the other hand, is having a great time. “If you sit the right way…” she says with a giggle. Get it, girl!

After the donkey ride, it’s time for the main event: Bullfighting with a matadora named Caren Calderón.

By now, we know that this lesson — which involves Grant charging at the women while pushing a bull head attached to a wheelbarrow type thing — is going to lead to an embarrassing competition. The women get all dolled up in their “Spirit Halloween” matadora costumes (as Carolina calls them), and then the real humiliation begins.

Yep, today the women will be competing in a “batalla del toro” — which is a fancy way of saying they have to hold on to a mechanical bull for as long as possible. And, they have to do it in front of irritated locals who somehow got coerced into sitting in the stands. Don’t these folks look thrilled?

Most of the women are tossed off the bull after a few seconds, but Alexe leaves them all in the dust with her unique technique of leaning forward and wrapping her arms around the bull’s horns. She stays on for 47 seconds, and it seems like she’s a shoo-in to win. But then when it’s Zoe’s turn, she copies Alexe’s technique and somehow earns the trophy, even though it’s unclear if she stayed on the bull longer. As winner, she gets to share some champagne and a sunset smooch with Grant.

That night at the cocktail party, Grant surprises Parisa with her very own Spanish rock. (As you may recall, rose lovers, Parisa is a rock/gem collector, and she finds the Bachelor’s gesture “very romantic.”) Rose, meanwhile, uses her time to level-set with Grant after last week’s awkwardness over Carolina. Holding Rose’s hand, Grant assures her that there’s “potential” and “room for growth” with their relationship, and they end the chat with a smooch.

Zoe uses her time with the Bachelor to explain that her reserved nature comes from growing up as a Black girl in the predominantly white South. “My entire life, I always just felt like the Black sheep,” she says, breaking down. “No men were wanting to date me… I just never felt worthy of, like, friendship, let alone a boyfriend.” Grant wipes her tears and assures her that he wants to know “this side” of her, because he can relate. “As a Black man, I can understand what she’s been through,” he says.

Back in the holding pen, Carolina poses a question that she probably should have considered before signing up for this show.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.