Money can be a major point of conflict in a marriage. In fact, close to half of all people who are married indicate they hide purchases from their partner, even as 52% of people in long-term relationships or marriages view secret spending as a type of infidelity.
You don’t want to sabotage your romantic dreams by combining finances with your partner or spouse before you’re ready to do so, so it’s important to think carefully before making the leap. Specifically, you may want to watch out for these key signs that suggest you are not ready for a joint bank account.
1. You can’t talk openly about money
If you are going to share a bank account, you have to be able to communicate easily about money. Otherwise, you risk overdrafting your account or you could find yourself having trouble determining how much each person should put into and take out of it.
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Make sure you are comfortable having all different kinds of money conversations, including about how much you earn, how much debt you have, and what your saving and spending priorities are. You will need to be able to talk about all of these things to effectively manage a shared bank account.
2. You don’t have any shared financial goals
In most cases, it makes sense to have a shared bank account if you are working toward something together. This could be as simple as covering the rent on a shared apartment or as complicated as planning for a home purchase or buying stuff for kids you have together.
If you don’t have some good reason to combine forces, why take on the added stress and complexity of sharing your accounts?
3. You aren’t ready to give up your purchasing autonomy
When you share a bank account with someone else, you can’t really just buy whatever you want whenever you want it. You have to take your partner’s needs into account and make sure you are both meeting your financial responsibilities while also still having some money left over for fun purchases.
You and your partner can decide together when you need to consult each other before making purchases, with couples often setting a limit such as discussing all purchases over $50 or over $100. But, even if you don’t have to come to a consensus about every spending decision, you still need to make sure you aren’t draining your joint account dry.
If you aren’t ready to give up any purchasing autonomy, separate accounts are a better option.
4. You have different money management styles you haven’t talked through
Finally, you’ll want to make sure you understand how you each manage money and are OK with any differences in your money styles. For example, some people like to use credit cards to make purchases and then pay them off from their bank account each month. Others won’t use cards at all because they’re afraid of going into debt. And some people are OK with carrying a balance occasionally, while others won’t ever borrow.
You’ll want to address these issues before you combine your accounts and start making joint money decisions. By getting on the same page about how you’ll manage your shared account and confirming that you can make spending decisions together, you can be sure you’re really ready to take this leap. If that’s not the case, there’s nothing wrong with maintaining separate bank accounts.
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