:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/SNL-Whitehouse-remodel-sketch-235-110225-bf11fed69e064360bfaafda903e2f7ab.jpg)
Miles Teller pulled double duty while hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend — and he didn’t even have to sing.
In a sketch poking fun at Donald Trump‘s recent controversial demolition of the White House’s East Wing, the actor spoofed Property Brothers, playing both Drew and Jonathan Scott, the twins at the center of the home renovation show.
“This week, we’re taking on our biggest challenge yet: building the new White House ballroom,” Teller’s Drew begins the parody. “Donald and Melania moved into this house nine years ago. They were evicted for four years… but they moved back in.”
After meeting Trump (played by James Austin Johnson) and the First Lady, Melania Trump (Chloe Fineman), face to face, the duo start by touring the White House, noting that the president has a “strong eye for interior design.” Among his additions to the decor are several golden urns, scattered throughout the rooms.
“I put these gold urns everywhere,” Trump says, holding even more of them in his arms. “Like a hundred in every room. That makes me happy. It’s very important to be happy these days — really dark stuff happening in the world. Some of it is me.”
SNL
He later shows off a crown from his trip to Asia, asking, “Nothing says democracy like a crown, right?”
Other big changes to Trump’s pad include remodeling the Rose Gardens to resemble outdoor seating at an Olive Garden, replacing a portrait of former President Franklin D. Roosevelt with a painting of Trump as a soldier from Halo, and putting up spooky decorations that the Scott brothers wrongly assume are for Halloween.
“Those are for Christmas,” Fineman’s Melania says of the special additions — skeletons and dead trees.
As for the East Wing, the First Lady tells the Property Brothers that she and her husband desperately need to expand. “The house is only 55,000 square feet and 132 rooms,” she complains.
“We need more space!” Trump exclaims, noting that he specifically requires a ballroom to satisfy his love of dance.
Returning to the narration, the brothers then explain their next steps and address the cost of the renovations.
“We asked Donald what his budget was, and he said between $350 million and infinity. And then we asked if he needed a permit, and Donald laughed really hard,” one of them says, smiling uneasily. “He said, ‘I could build this ballroom with the bones of my enemies, and no one could stop me.'”
SNL
After consulting with Trump’s mood board — which includes photos of Russian President Vladimir Putin and Star Wars‘ notorious sluglike crime lord Jabba the Hutt — they begin the overhaul in earnest. The brothers start by demolishing the East Wing, but with no staff due to the government shutdown, they opt to “force Park Rangers and astronauts” to carry out the operation.
“It will be ready just in time for my third term,” Trump declares.
Melania agrees, “That’s right, we want this to be our forever home.”
“Yes, because we’re not leaving,” Trump adds. “We’re going to be doing something called ‘coup.'”
When their work finally concludes, one brother says, “I guess the only thing left is the payment for the construction.”
“Aren’t you guys from Canada?” Trump replies. He then yells, “ICE!,” prompting agents to storm the room and chase the twins away. “There goes ICE. We like them. Spooky, very spooky. It’s a very spooky secret police thing.”
Trump’s decision to tear down the historic East Wing of the White House to construct a ballroom — a project with a reported cost of $300 million — will more than double the size of the White House property. The move has been met with strong criticism, with many pointing to its problematic timing amid the government shutdown.
Trump has argued that keeping the East Wing would “hurt a very, very expensive beautiful building,” per the Associated Press, and added that he and “some friends of mine” will pay for it, with no tax dollars funding the project during the shutdown.
